What do you want from dating?

What are your goals are and timescales? Do you see yourself getting married within two years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back about meeting someone, then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve.

Who do you want to date?

Choose people you're likely to have something in common with. Instead of just picking a match with model good looks, think more about his or her profile and what it says about that person. Do you have the same hobbies and have you had common experiences? Think about what makes you laugh and how you like to spend your time. If you choose a match with similar interests you'll have more to talk about and it will certainly make the first date a lot easier!

Retain your anonymity

The shebeen sites allows individuals to contact matches without knowing their email address or phone number. Utilising the private messaging (PM) gives you the chance to correspond with potential dates in a non-threatening environment before you take the plunge and give them your contact details.

Take your time

Although it may not happen overnight, at some point you will meet a match on the site and you will want to exchange email addresses or phone numbers. Until you get there, we'd advise you to take your time. Send plenty of messages to your matches, ask them questions to make sure they're genuine and think about how comfortable you are with your match contacting you before you give out your contact details and arrange to meet up. If you're unsure, take some more time. There's no rush!

Use another email address

It is best not to use your usual email address but create a new address that you can give out to people you meet online. Some people even get a second SIM card so they can speak on the phone without giving out their real number until they're sure about a match and feel comfortable with that person having their number.

Be careful if you meet up

If you've found someone you like and you decide to meet up, that's great news. Obviously, this is what dating sites are here for! However, exercise some caution. Meet somewhere public such as a bar or restaurant – don't invite your date to pick you up from home on your first date or tell him or her where you live. If you're super nervous you can always take a friend with you even if they just observe from another table in a bar. As with most things in love and life, be careful before you leap!

Phone a friend

Let a friend know if you are going to be meeting someone for the first time and ask your friend to phone you an hour or two into the date to make sure you're feeling comfortable and have an escape route should you need one. It's unlikely that you'll need to call in the escape route but it may help to reassure you if you are feeling very nervous about the all important first meeting!

And importantly…

Above all, your dating experience should be fun. Go on lots of dates, don't take every one too seriously and just enjoy spending time with new people without putting yourself under pressure. If one doesn't go perfectly, don't let it get you down, just move onto the next date. Even if you don't find love first time round, you may make some great friends along the way!